Mu-An Chiou


Another sleepless night.

Yesterday I transcribed one of my audio journals from a month ago while waiting for my psychiatry appointment (it took 3 hours). In the recording I was on the brink. I was crying. I was so desperate, and I felt strongly that no one can know about this, and I must either tough it out or else. I feel for her. It’s a feat that she made it.

I asked my psychiatrist if he’d transfer me to a smaller clinic cause his booking is always so full; I felt bad for him that he was probably going to see patients well past midnight. He said he would if he was not worried about me, but he is, and he needs to put me before his desire to work less.

That’s National Health Insurance in Taiwan y’all. The only reason we are assured is because medical workers are exploited and overworked. Please literally ask me to pay double or something.

Out in the hall with dozens of other patients I overheard someone talking about how they were worried about the wait time and might not catch the last bus (they are making minimum wage due to mental health problems). I wanted to just give them money to take a taxi but I didn’t. Ugh. Should I have?

The medical staff and the patients are all doing their best. How can our systems be made better to support everyone?

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